好想哭

whenever... this happens and that would happen and a contrast will appear, glaring at me.

It's like u have a small, efficient car. Pale in comparison to the stylish, cool, fashion sports car. But you would rather the former, for it is fitting, suitable, and more affordable. Sometimes, rarely, it moves smoothly, fast, and comfortable air-con come blowing out of the air con generator. But sometimes... It becomes bumpy, u can feel the explosions inside the car, the jerky-ness and the engine whines and as if it is going to die...

my heart is like a vampire's now, cold.

why. why. why. why. why.

Maybe god didn't let me win 1st without a reason. We're not supposed to be first to begin with.
love/Kelly | 1:10 AM

It sucks.

Coming on to msn is the worst thing i ever done.

She doesn't understand how much stress it is. Constantly bugging me to probing about stupid things. Why the hell do you wanna know when i am going to study? does it makes a difference? And i'm bloody in the course of A lvls when you bloody wanna spread your boredom to me?

I'm tired of this. fuck.
love/Kelly | 6:54 PM

I wonder.

i wonder why i made the choice
was it to hush or too rush?
was it rational or irrational.
was it what i desired?

Sometimes.

Sometimes it isn't a hint
When it ought to be at times.
When explicitly asked and said.
No action is the fateful reply.

Why.

Why does it seems like
i'm putting in all the work
when what comes to return
proves i'm a failure?

It

It doesn't need someone else to tell me so
My reflexes are the best testimony
I find ways to avoid
And find strangers to chat when feeling low.

Maybe

Maybe it is just me.
Or is it that you do not care?
Perhaps that's your character
But sadly it doesn't complement mine.
love/Kelly | 5:03 PM

WHATS WRONG WITH ME WHATS WRONG WITH ME WHATS WRONG WITH ME?

Here's whats wrong with ME.

In a perfect day like this i indulge and in a worst situation i become frantic.

Whats wrong..

i guess its not that bad since 19 days more to gooo.
love/Kelly | 6:24 PM

its been a long while..

A lvls is just at the doorstep. and what do you do when u see a fire? you get prepared for it and call the fire engine hot line. but when its up to you...

you only got to prepare water and fight it.

And not get stressed and make yourself into a frenzy state. - that would really kill you.

Lesson: learn to be calm.

easier said than done.

Time to get prepared, memorize the steps 1,2,3 to fight a fire and identify which type of fire it is ( predict is the key now )

i love A lvls.
love/Kelly | 6:14 PM

a long time since i blogged.. After changing so much url, doubt anyone know this blog site le..

Prelims over, 4x more days to doomsday. ill-prepared as expected.

Physics - C
Chem - B
Maths - ?
Econs - ?
Gp - U

Doesn't seem good at all.

if maths A ( which is unlikely ) and econs S ( very likely )

i can form ABACUS.

LOL.

An extra A from chinese (:

Time to gear up.
love/Kelly | 1:22 AM

i just feel like hibernating, not caring, not involving..

i just feel like staying away, being alone, out of all these.

i just feel like weeping, under my blanket, heart beating rapidly.

i just feel like being indifferent, no matter how much arrows u shoot..

i'll still stay like this like a log.

i wonder why i wonder how.

i wonder what and i wonder when..
love/Kelly | 3:21 PM